Oh To Touch The Hem of His Garment

I sometimes think about what a gift it would be to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. I was looking at obedience today and wondering how I will ever measure up to what God has for me. As a child I started training for the Olympics in swimming and it just became a habit to compete and I have done it ever since. I even made my drug use a competition. Had to see who could use the most and still be able to function. Then I began using and working and that even became a game I had to win. So how am I going to be able to be obedient and still live in Grace with out having to compete?

To position myself under the headship of Jesus and learn to do what He requires of me, well this sounds like I have to earn my way somewhere. I cannot earn anything it was a gift given to me by the One and only Person who was a perfect example of Obedience. A love relationship with this person is the only true way to obedience. To desire to please Jesus in all that I do to the point where I desire to inhale every word the proceeds from the mouth of God and when I do that the Holy Spirit will carry me wherever I need to go. “I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statues, and you will keep My judgments and do them” Ezekiel 36:26.

I know that there are many reasons to obey God but for me there is only one because He wants me to. Whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 1John 3:22

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk upright. Ps 84:11

Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and keep it! Luke 11:28

Lord, thank you for your words that refresh me daily.

My Children

I really have a desire to make sure that I spend eternity with my children. The things of the world will pass away. It is hard when you have the world by the tail, so to speak, and your mom wants you to look at the long term effect of your life. I never had anyone tell me that I needed to change because the once saved always saved applied in my household even if and when you were not concerned with God or what He had to offer. I just keep praying for my children and do believe that God wants them to spend eternity with Him more than I could ever imagine. To know God's heart is to know God's word. My prayer for my children is that they know God's heart and desire to do God's will, not to earn any prize but because they love Him and desire a relationship with Him.

Metamorphous

Butterflies are color in motion. They have delicate movements, dramatic life cycles and a talent to survive. I watched in my butterfly conservatory as the tiny little eggs turned to multi-legged caterpillars that devoured food quickly and grew at a rate I would not like grow at myself. Then after a few weeks they wrapped themselves in chrysalises to complete their startling transformation into beautiful, colorful masterpieces. When they first break out of their chrysalises their wings are all folded up and they have to pump fluid through the wings to inflate them so to speak, this was very messy. The Butterflies that I had were Vanessa cardui (Painted Ladies). When my great niece and I released them they had a hard time getting going but once in the air they were the most magnificent creatures I have ever seen.
As I thought about it, that is how my walk with God has been. At first my faith was a tiny seed of a thing. After my years of drug use it was hard to think clearly for very long, but then I got a hunger and thirst for God's word and started to devour it. It is so easy to wrap ourselves in chrysalises and just hang out and heal, but then comes the time when we have to start to break out and we need to get our wings inflated. This too can be very messy. Many times I have thought that I can not continue on in this quest that has become so important to me. Then I remember the blood that was shed for me by my Jesus so that He could see me become the beautiful colorful creature that the Father intended me to be. The only difference between me and the beautiful Painted Lady is that my flight will not end I will soar for eternity with my three true loves The Father, His Son Jesus Christ and the Comforter the Holy Spirit. Thank you Lord for your persistence in my life.

Celebration of Life

Some times I feel like a clumsy child stepping all over The most Holy One's feet. I am so glad that He continues to lead. As I see that picture of when I was a small child and my dad would put me on his feet and dance the night away I realize that I am not stepping on His feet He has put me on His feet so that I might not fall and can continue the dance set before me. Let the music continue as Jesus leads me through the night. Then soon I realize that I am soaring on the wings of an eagle. The more I sing His praises the higher I soar. I know that He is my refuge and my strength, my sword and my shield, my shelter from the storm of life. Celebration of life? I am going to a friend celebration of life party on Sunday and now I know why I celebrate.

I need to rise up and go do the things the God has set before me. My destiny what does that look like? Well I know that I can be a peace maker, a mother, a wife, a friend, and a lover. I want my life to be like a love song to the Lord. Sweet, sweet music to His ear. I want agapao love for the Lord and have been asking for that for sometime now and as I was praying one day God spoke to me in a very clear voice " Love your brother as yourself, feed the hungry, do unto others as you would like them to do unto you, forgive as I forgive you, then you will have agapao love for Me." What a novel idea.

Celebrate life, that now looks a little clearer than before. Party on in an agapao way of life.